Steps for Telling Your Spouse That You Want a Divorce


There has to be a strong element of love, trust, and commitment for any marriage or relationship to work. When these vital ingredients are missing, then there is every possibility that your relationship might be headed towards a dead end. Things that might precipitate such a scenario include; violence, infidelity, substance abuse, and never-ending arguments.

Experts in psychology advise that it is better to end a relationship that is not working than endure the high levels of stress that characterize a dysfunctional relationship. If you are afraid that the divorce process might involve unwanted drama, then you can convince your partner to consider mediated divorce in Riverside.

The process involved informing your wife that you want a divorce

The mere factor that you accepted to marry your spouse is a clear indication that you once loved and cherished them. However, when both of you feel that love and affection no longer exist, it might be time to consider a divorce. Divorce does not imply that you have been harboring ill intentions all through the relationship; it only means that you care about your spouse and want the best life for them. Here are the steps to follow when breaking the news of divorce to your spouse;

  • Don’t ambush your spouse-In as much as your partner might be aware that you are not happy in your marriage or relationship; it is advisable to prepare them psychologically about your desire to talk about something serious. The best way to achieve this is by giving them an appointment.
  • Choose a private place-Since this is an important conversation. Take the time to find a quiet place that accords the two of you have much-needed privacy. It can be away from buzzing city life that is characterized by a lot of noise and distractions. You can opt to hold such a conversation inside a quiet park. Such an environment will allow for maximum concentration and a sober exchange.
  • Be prepared for anger-It is naive to think that a conversation involving divorce will happen without tempers flaring at some point. Keep in mind that you are breaking this news to someone you once loved, lived with, and even had children together. Instances of crying, denial, and blaming are going to pop up. Be prepared and remain steadfast in your quest. You won’t achieve anything by delaying divorce because of sympathy.
  • Plan what to say-Prepare carefully for what you want to say and be as clear as possible. You can start by summarizing your unhappiness in the relationship, then go ahead to state your unwillingness to continue staying in that relationship. Once that is done, pose for a while to give your spouse room to soak in everything you said. At this point, you can give false hope to help your spouse regain her composure, even if it’s for a short while.
  • Do not blame-This is the time to steer clear of any blame game. Remember that however much you blame your partner, you won’t achieve anything in this tense atmosphere. Use neutral language and express your deep disappointment that things had to happen that way. Sympathize with their feelings but reiterate that you wish things could have worked better.
  • Stay calm-It is obvious that your spouse will get upset by your intention to divorce them. They will probably yell or shout at you. Do not engage in a shouting match, since this will only worsen things. Stay calm and emphasize your intention to go ahead with the divorce.
  • Avoid trial separation-Your spouse might attempt to convince you for a trial separation. If you give in, you will only be postponing the problem. Insist that you want a divorce.

Your peace and happiness should come ahead of anything. Being stuck in a marriage that is not working greatly compromises your happiness and can ultimately compromise your productivity. Mediated divorce is a less stressful process, provided an experienced mediator handles it.